Sometimes I cosplay, sometimes I write, but I mostly just drink tea and play video games a whole dang lot.
There isn't really a lot of consistency to this blog, so the content posted here will vary immensely. You have been warned.
(background courtesy of MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE)
Okay, so I have something to say about all this “special snowflake”ism that seems to come with being demi/ace/agendered/genderfluid. A rather concerning amount of people seem to think that when people state something as simple as “I am agendered/genderfluid” or “I am asexual/demisexual/greyasexual” (on their own personal blogs no less, where they should be allowed to talk about these things in an open, encouraging environment) they are actually stating “I AM SPECIAL LOOK AT ME I’M SO DIFFERENT PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!”
And I would just like to ask, to everyone who thinks this is true, why? Why are you so annoyed/disturbed/angered by someone who identifies as these things? What does it have to do with you? Why do you feel the need to pollute these tags with messages of hate and erasure? Are you purposely looking for a fight? And what makes you think that someone who is trying to find comfort and acceptance in a community of likeminded people is simply “doing it for attention”? With all the misconceptions that seem to be popping up for these groups of people, it seems as though identifying in these ways is not the quick and easy way to getting internet fame and attention that you think it is. When was the last time you heard of someone getting positive attention solely because they were agendered/genderfluid/asexual/demisexual/grey ace?
And another thing I would like to touch on: You do not get to decide what does and what does not count as a valid identity. If someone discovers that they identify as something, that is what they are. Full stop. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you don’t quite understand what that label means and the person has previously stated before that they are open and willing to answer questions about it, you may ask respectful questions.
You have absolutely no right to tell anyone they aren’t allowed to identify the way they do, and you absolutely must respect their decision. Their decision has less than no impact on you and if you are really that deeply bothered by how someone chooses to live their life, I greatly suggest you ask yourself why that is and maybe find someone to talk to about it.
If you don’t agree with someone and how they identify for whatever reason, I suggest you refrain from telling them. The least you’ll get is no reply whatsoever, and the most you’ll get is a full blown argument that will more often than not go nowhere and that neither of you will win. They will not suddenly stop identifying the way they do because you decided to take time out of your oh-so-busy schedule to “enlighten” them, and if you’re going in with such a high and mighty attitude in the first place, it’s unlikely you’ll be persuaded either.
And yes, it is true that these groups of people (for the most part; I don’t wish to generalize) don’t receive the same amount of hate or oppression as gay/bi/pan/etc or other trans* people often do every single day. That doesn’t mean they are a community that is completely free from harassment, erasure, or even, in some cases, hate as well. Just because someone somewhere else has it worse off than you, doesn’t mean your feelings or experiences don’t exist.
Just because you do not and perhaps will never understand where these people are coming from does not mean they do not exist or that their experiences are not valid. Period.